Saturday 1 June (2) – election. results

by Vidya Rajan

A young-ish south asian walks to a chair and sits down. The monologue is delivered facing and to (though not necessarily always looking at) the audience. It’s like a skype phone call – with the rhythms of pause and response, straining to hear and focus etc.. Shouldn’t be anything to indicate this physically (e.g: laptop, headphones).

SONIA:

Hello? Hello! (pause) What? (pause) Oh very good, I can hear now. (pause) What? (pause) No, but what I was saying – (pause) – no, Nanni, I know – (pause) – I’m just saying you think he’s good but he’s – uhuh, uhuh – no, Nanni, I – (pause) – I didn’t even say genocide! (pause) – yes I know, doing what’s right, cleaning up corruption – (pause) – alright, yes, good Modi, good.

She does a long body stretch, then snaps back.

What? No, not tired – (pause) – yeah two more months, can’t believe – (longer pause) – I don’t know, don’t know if I’ll get time off – (pause) – I don’t even feel like I know them, so why should I? – (pause) – and he’s quite ugly right? – (she smiles) – he is, he is, he looks like a fried egg and she looks like a movie star! – (longer pause) – uhuh, yeah, I know it’ll be a big wedding but don’t think it can end well – (pause) – ok, sorry, sorry, yes evil eye.

She stares a bit blankly for a few beats.

Oh this will make you happy! – (pause) – Your man Adani got elected! – (pause, barely suppressing a grin) – Yes – (pause) – no Indians can stand in Australian elections now – (pause) – no, they love us so much they make us stand for election – (pause
-no I’m not lying Nanni! He got elected in Queensland! – (pause) – no, of course I didn’t vote for him – why not? Because! (pause) – no, I’m obviously – obviously joking – he didn’t – (pause) – I did protest though –  (pause) – hello? What are you? – (pause) – I said, PROTEST! Not ARREST, what are you? – (pause) – hello??? – (long pause) – ok sorry, didn’t mean to upset you – (pause) – no, no, I haven’t been thrown in jail yet…

She sighs and looks down, a long beat, then speaks quieter.

Uhuh, uhuh, yeah – (pause) – no, I know – (pause) – yeah, a lot of effort but – (pause) – yeah, such a long time – (pause) – no, doesn’t make sense, I know – (pause) – yeah, I know, hoping for a better – (pause) – yeah – (pause) – but I guess she was basically committing gen – (pause)  – Nah – (pause) – nah I think Jon did the right thing killing her! – (pause) – I don’t know where the dragon’s gone, I would be worried too! – (pause) –  yes, bran made no sense, guess he’s no modi – sorry – (pause) – yeah, night king was disappointing for me too – (pause) – yeah, yeah, hey actually, did you know he’s a metaphor for climate change? – (pause) – A METAPHOR – (pause) – Hello? Nanni??

Silence. No connection.

Hello?

Almost to herself.

Unsatisfying ending.

Black out.

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