Monday 3 June – Retail Politics

by Ben Ellis

Cafe on the ground floor of a corporate building

SAM. Retail politics

JACKIE. Funny saying

SAM. That’s what they kept saying on floor twelve

JACKIE. Those last four days were the best of my life

SAM. You were certain we’d lose

It’s like childbirth

SAM. You were screaming about having Bill as PM

JACKIE. You forget the pain because of the beautiful result

SAM. It was beautiful

JACKIE. Do you ever feel..

SAM. Feel…


SAM. Feel…

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Monday 27 May – A Wrap Up

by Ben Ellis

A classroom, emptied, 4pm. Sketchley is the teacher. Bobbi is the student.

S. I had to fail you

B. Okay

S. I understand if that upsets you

B. It’s the end of everything, it /really is

S. I wouldn’t put it that way

B. But you did put it that way. Fight for your life, you said. I did the little things. I had the affirmations on my mirror. I made myself attractive to the examiners. I was worthy of love. I was ready to top the year. You’ve ruined it

S. You ruined it

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Monday 20 May – Afterthoughtful

by Ben Ellis

Outside. Night. A big open outdoor part of a pub. Shell is getting ready to leave. Ger approaches Shell

GER   You can’t be serious

SHELL  Did somebody hit you?

GER   My tear duct got infected. You must be happy about that

SHELL  Just let me go home

GER   You have a problem. You’re so stupid. You’re dumb. You’re ignorant. I’ve just got to accept it. But I can’t. You’re pathetic. My intelligence scares you. My consideration for others less fortunate just makes you sick, running away to your cancelled Footy Shows and stupid reality TV. Fuck you and your Foxtel and your fucked NBN and your utes. You’re sick. You make me sick. Why won’t you fuck me? Why the fuck won’t you fuck me?

SHELL   I think that might be the worst pick up routine I’ve ever heard

GER Okay

SHELL And your point is?

GER I’m speechless

SHELL You reckon?

Monday 13 May – Bats

by Ben Ellis

Gwen, in her late 60s, stands at a street corner. She holds a baseball bat.

Harry, holding a Greens how-to-vote card, in her 20s stands opposite her.

G When you’ve lived as long as I have, the environment doesn’t matter anymore. You see through the lies. And I’m telling you, you’re the biggest threat to the planet. Getting people hot and bothered. Making kids think it’s our fault

H My question was, what were you doing with the bat?

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Monday 29 April – On the Release of New Figures

by Ben Ellis

A classroom, emptied, 4pm. Sketchley is the teacher. Bobbi is the student. Choose your own genders and class…

Sketchley: Don’t be disappointed. The number isn’t everything

Bobbi: I thought you’d give me more

Sketchley: It’s a pass

Bobbi: But I deserve more than a pass. I put in heaps of facts

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