by Ben Ellis
Cafe on the ground floor of a corporate building
SAM. Retail politics
JACKIE. Funny saying
SAM. That’s what they kept saying on floor twelve
JACKIE. Those last four days were the best of my life
SAM. You were certain we’d lose
It’s like childbirth
SAM. You were screaming about having Bill as PM
JACKIE. You forget the pain because of the beautiful result
SAM. It was beautiful
JACKIE. Do you ever feel..
SAM. Feel…
JACKIE. Feel…
SAM. Feel…
JACKIE. Guilt
SAM. Retail politics
JACKIE. It’s not really retail. There are laws about, um, misspeakings
SAM. Misspeakings
JACKIE. Variations of fact
SAM. Lies
JACKIE. Not lies, oscillation of verity
SAM. Facebook ads
JACKIE. We did a lot of Facebook ads
SAM Bill wants to take away your ute insert ute like here—
JACKIE. Tax your dad’s cremation
SAM. Abort a million fetuses
JACKIE. Yeah
SAM. Nothing’s an out and out lie
JACKIE. How’s that
SAM. If it feels true, in retail politics, it probably is
JACKIE. You’re a lot smarter than I ever gave you credit
SAM. That’s why we made it to Floor Twelve
JACKIE. You don’t make it to Floor Twelve in a campaign without a couple of neurons firing
SAM. What do you really think of Scott
JACKIE. He’s useful. But he’s still a bit of Pentecostal loon, isn’t he?
SAM. He’s in charge
JACKIE. No. We are
SAM. Aluminium
JACKIE. Yes
SAM What about aluminium? What about Taiwan?
SAM. We’ll sort that out
JACKIE. When
SAM. Later
Pause.
SAM. So why did you want to see me?
JACKIE. I got a joke
SAM. Yeah?
JACKIE. Why did they vote for us?
SAM. Why did they vote for us?
JACKIE. Because they didn’t want yet another fucken Prime Minister
SAM. Smokin’
JACKIE. Lit, yeah?
The Campaign & After Plays 